A letter to my friend Manoj

 To go Virtual or stay real

So, first of all, the preliminaries, it’s been really eons since I wrote here.

Reason 1: I forgot I had this blog.

Reason 2: I really was engaged with some useful, almost irreplaceable work - my kid.

Reason 3: Nobody really reads my blog except for few believing and caring friends.

The reasons I think I should start scribbling again.

Reason 1: I remembered that I have this blog.

Reason 2: Though my irreplaceable work still remains useful, my kid gets by without me for few minutes.

Reason 3: Few of my faithful friends asked if I still blog.

So that out of the way. I thought I should probably start with my thoughts on the most important dilemmas pertinent to a modern parent, to go virtual from infancy or not.  

Almost everyone I know or see "manage" their kid's tantrums and boredom with an app, a rhyme video, TV, mobile phones, dedicated tabs and anything else on the edge of technology. This starts right from the time the kid starts on solid food. My sampling might be limited but I am sure this should be the current trend. The reasons vary from: It’s the only way I can get the kid to eat, to sit, to sleep, to poo; it is the future and the most important reason of all - everyone else is doing it.

I am pretty sure a child is born with very primal instincts and is definitely unaware of technology. I try my best to keep it that way. Prime reason being, it is actually possible to raise a kid the "old-fashioned" way. The truth is, it is not a primary skill in life and extremely easy to learn unless your children have started coding as soon as they hit 3.

Whenever and if at all I try to dissuade a parent to avoid screen time, I meet with "what does she know about my kid" glare. I have stopped replying whenever another parent preaches me to play some rhyme videos when my kid eats. I have stopped replying since if at all I voice my reason for not doing that, I am met with either a stiff resistance or worst of all, they think I am advising. Advice has a very bad reputation. This post is also not advisory in nature. Just a thought to consider.

Besides, I am not saying this out of my own wisdom, I do consider scientific research, like this:

https://www.sahealth.sa.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/bf5f3e0045d0b6eda24fae9f9859b7b1/OPALscreenfactsheet-sss-20110217.pdf?MOD=AJPERES&CACHEID=bf5f3e0045d0b6eda24fae9f9859b7b1

I understand that the world is a bad place, TV, internet, mobile phones and what-nots cannot be eradicated. But there is no necessity for the parent themselves to introduce it at a tender age. Bad things can be easily absorbed and learnt. The children can do it on their own when they hit the teens. Why do you want to hurry them?

And please do not point to an average parent next door as a reason. They might be pointing at you.

If at all you can afford to buy an expensive electronic device, I am sure you can spend a few on books. Yeah sure, there are e-books but for a kid who is learning his way in this world, everything is just screen. They do not have the luxury of distinguishing in this new world, like you did. Teach them what humans used to do and they will adapt to their future.

If you think your kid will eat only when bombarded with virtual content, then I am sure you would not mind them getting lost to the dumb device by the time they are teens. They are not to blame for the collective mistake of the society.

Your kid is yours until he leaves your home.

All new age parents should have a collective responsibility. You cannot hide evil but you can delay it or at least measure its dosage.I am neither criticizing nor advising any parent but urging you to think through this,since I consider it the most pertinent decision we make for our kids.